Life is so funny. Nine years ago when we had Travis I really didn't know anything about babies. Having gone through it now four times I feel like a pro. I also now know that the babies are very easy compared to life with children who become their own little people. Whenever I see a pregnant woman I find myself smiling and remembering back. I think about how this little baby is going to change their lives forever. It's like once you've had a baby you now belong on the other side with the group - parents. It's something that no one could have prepared me for. Yes I knew it would be work - diapers, sleepless nights, crying, laundry and all that. I wasn't prepared though for the emotional part that went with it. It seems my days now are constantly trying to figure out how to deal with situations and just when I think I have it figured out it changes again. With four kids these "situations" come and go continuously. Today I'm being the mean parent and forcing Travis to go to swimming lessons everyday for two weeks....Should I be forcing him or should I just accept the fact that he doesn't like water???I've been debating this in my head now for a year and I still don't know that that "right answer" is. Dan has just taken him kicking and screaming.
With Kaitlin I always worry about her self esteem. Am I hurting it (some days I think so when I'm out of patience) I worry about her friends and what other influences are effecting her. Dawson is just a bundle of energy that doesn't listen. There are days when he's wonderful don't get me wrong but overall he has this complete boy personality - rough and tough. He thinks everything in life is funny and will gladly entertain anyone who is around.
There are times when I'm not sure if what they're doing is just a stage/phase or if this is part of their personality. Kortney is also very much her own little person. The cute baby stage is leaving and she knows what she wants and doesn't want. She tries very hard to keep up with the rest of the crew.
So ya, when these four were babies it was definitely easier for me. Feed them, wash them, play, put them to sleep. Done. Now there's all this extra stuff to be worrying about. Should I do or not do certain things, am I spoiling them too much, am I expecting to much from them for their age. The list could go on. It is never ending and I'm thinking it's only going to get worse. Travis is not that far from his teenage years.
I know I'll get responses telling me I'm worrying too much and my kids are great. I hope I can keep handling the daily frustrations and challenges without losing it!
Just had to vent today!!
Michelle
1 comment:
Your troubles have just begun. Wait till they all want the car/truck at the same time and you stay up at nights waiting for them to get home. Or even if you can go to bed you still don't sleep soundly because you haven't heard all of them come in for the evening. Then, they move away, have children, and you now have more to worry about. Yes, my dear, your troubles have just begun. "Welcome to parenthood"
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